Hindsight and New Hope

Looking back on most major events in my life, it is easy to see how God has been working to prepare me for every challenge I encounter--life, in hindsight, is an intricate web of events that effect each other in countless and unfathomable ways. Most of my existence is spent in happy oblivion of this inter-connectivity, but something as life changing as an international move tends to bring to mind all the experiences that have prepared me for this. Mothering, for example, springs to mind. Or the inexplicable decision to become a German major in college when I knew full well that career options would be slim pickings. Even something as small as Mike teaching me how to sharpen a knife on the bottom of a ceramic mug has been of use to me lately. I'm kind of tripping out thinking of how everything I'm working through at the moment will someday have an effect on something unknown in my future.

back when being a sister was something new

I'm very thankful for my many experiences MacGyvering my way through life, but mostly, all along I've felt that this process from choosing to apply for the IAEA position to moving abroad has been directly tied to the experience I've had with both our girls--in my pregnancies with them, their births and the subsequent bumbling experience of raising them.  I've known enough of impatiently waiting when I knew what was certainly in my future, even seeing the ones I love around me become impatient for me when things weren't moving along, knowing what it is to feel pain and fatigue and insurmountable joy at the same time and, most importantly, realizing I have no idea what I'm doing, however well I may have prepared, but having peace nonetheless that the Lord has led me here.  All of those things have made the sleepless nights, the frustration and the ignorance in my current situation feel so much more full of hope.  Hope for rest, hope for patience, and hope for the knowledge that will surely come of how to traverse these waters we are in.   

My girls at the VIC

This morning I woke up at 6:15 and realized both my children were still sleeping. I could've cried, I was so euphorically happy. Audrey still ended up in our bed, but The Bear is the one who has been resisting the night time routine, so I'm calling this one a win. We took our time getting ready before heading over to the VIC this morning since, technically, family isn't allowed in before 11am. I now have my own badge to access the UN Center which is pretty sweet. John and I went in to finalize the details for opening our Austrian bank account and then the girls and I hung out in the gigantic courtyard area while John took care of a few other odds and ends.

Tip toeing through the tulips...er dandelions

The courtyard in the UN Center is a large circle bordered on one half by those tall, gracefully curved UN buildings.  The other half is comprised of the entrance/security area and a very peaceful raised  field with cherry trees, daisies and dandelions dotting the ground; there is even a stone path that leads its way through a few statues and monuments. In the center of this enormous courtyard is a huge circular fountain, in which Bailey repeatedly asked to bathe. Once we had tip toed through the tulips, looked for fish in the fountain and sat in every chair at the outdoor cafe, John met up with us and took us down to the UN Commissary--a Mecca for familiar foods. If my children hadn't been behaving like heathens, I would've been in heaven. We barely made it out with some celebratory frozen pizzas before the girls totally unraveled. The train ride and mile walk home were memorable to say the least. We figured the girls would be getting back to their normal temperaments once they were well rested, but both of them were on the far end of bonkers today. It's not ideal, but we'll see what tomorrow brings.

If life has taught me anything, it's that there is hope for the morning; no matter what challenges I face, God tends to put a shiny spin on it for me with the rising sun (even if my morning comes at 3am) In the mean time, I've got some Digiorno self-rising crust pizza in the fridge (because I momentarily forgot in the hysteria at the commissary that our freezer is microscopic in size) and beer. Yes, beer. Here's to curve balls and sleepless nights and the knowledge that the sun will bring with it a new beginning.