Radio Silence

I've been kind of lost this past week.  Lost in the beautiful snottiness of sharing germs within a close family unit; snuggling on the couch, blowing noses, wishing the house elves would show up and then ordering miso soup from the delivery guy who is getting way too familiar with my jammie pants. 

That was part of it

Then we were trying to locate our new normal.  The post-vacation, post-illness, will-this-laundry-heap-ever-vanish normal.  Which is really all a charade because Audrey is on break from school and her return next week will throw us back into the whirlwind of trying to find our balance.

yet again.

In the midst of all this, I've been getting pretty deep into the gospel (something I've been praying to have an honest desire for for a very long time).  I have a stack of books on my nightstand that are absolutely inspiring me and I can't get my head out of them.  God is working on my heart and on my mind like crazy. My brain is buzzing.  But this blog is silent.

I'm processing. I'm focusing on taking things in instead of putting them out into the blogsphere.  

This is awesome and I'm stopping to tell you because it is not normal.

I am not a 'christian book' reader.  I've never been constant in my bible reading.  Mostly, I've just tried to love everyone a whole bunch, remain as transparent as possible and give any praise I receive for various reasons up to God.  It was a pretty simplistic way of living.

Except I was praying all the time for God to change me--to make me love Him more--to use me like I was scared to death of being used for His glory. 

So, I kind of just wanted to break the radio silence to say that I'm here.  I am happy and confused and challenged and joyfully praising the Lord.  In between all this hubbub, I'm loving on my babies.  Really--deeply loving spending each day with them.  I am unbelievably blessed and I hope you can feel your blessings in a real way today too.