The Early Grave Bit

I'm starting to understand what parents mean by their children sending them to an early grave. Now, Audrey may be a handful, but she's not the out of control, trying to kill herself at every possible opportunity kind of kid. STILL. The stress physically exhausts me every time she gnaws off a piece of board book (I'm not talking mushy bits, here--I mean CHUNKS) and tries to swallow it before I can snatch it out of her mouth. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting pretty efficient at doing the baby version of the Heimlich and I don't really ever get visibly panicked when these things happen, but there is no way to stop that little voice in the back of my head--you know, the one that is implanted directly after birth--the one that is screaming "OHMYGODSHE'SGONNADIE!!!!" Yeah, that's what's causing me to lose minutes, hours and occasionally days off my life.

This got me to thinking; I'm worried about chunks of ingested cardboard here? How's it going to feel when she's strangling herself with the blind cords...or worse...driving?? Going to college?? Gads! Either we need to perform an exorcism to get rid of these alarmist voices, or Audrey can just start getting used to being bubble girl. I know what you're thinking: Tell the young priest and the old priest to take five--why don't you just stop letting Audrey eat books? Well, I guess I value inspiring Audrey's love of reading more than my own life. How's that for parenting?

In other, less alarming news, Audrey is officially 8 months old! We went to the pediatrician yesterday for an appointment, but Nurse Ratchet didn't weigh her; Audrey just got two shots and a "see ya later". Talk about your bedside manner. We don't go back to the doctor until May, so remain on the edge of your seats until then and I'll let you know how much the little Butterball has gained.

Also, I feel the need to brag on my own culinary skills here for once. Usually my cuisine is in the category of "edible" or "good, not great" But, last night's dinner was "That was so good, I forgot to breath while eating". I made up a recipe for pork tenderloin with sweet chili pepper orange sauce and rosemary potatoes. If you're not salivating right now, feel free to begin. We also had raspberry mirror cake with white chocolate shavings for dessert to celebrate Audrey's birthday, but I can't take credit for it, the good people at Fred Meyer made that for me.

Well, I'm off to scavenge in the fridge for leftovers from last night's feast and maybe some tea to calm the nerves. This parenting thing isn't easy, you know!