On Living Simply and Loving Deeply

This time of year, I'm typically so over the holidays and winter as well, for that matter, that I've already begun plans for my garden. And while there will be no plans for a back forty garden this year, that doesn't mean I've been able to resist the urge to create--to take something raw and make it into something useful, if not beautiful. I've been going a little crazy, bookmarking things I want to make myself: beeswax candles, shampoo bars, dream pillows...I'm a Gamelin girl; I can't resist these compulsions.

I haven't started making my own probiotic deodorant (yet!) but I have actually phased out how much recreational reading I'm doing...which is a BIG deal. I typically spend about an hour of the girls' nap time and an additional two to three hours after their bed time reading. So you get how this is a big deal? Instead, I've been doing more prayer journaling, listening to good music (I've recently fallen in love with Mumford and Sons), researching projects I want to actually complete and I even dug out my knitting bag today...and crocheted a pot holder...because who DOESN'T need more pot holders?

I'm looking to the future with a more simplistic view and part of that means staying in and working on these things with my kiddos.  It also means realizing how much we already have and how much of it isn't even being used. 

This drastic change sprang from the realization that most of my days are spent shepherding the girls around trying to get 'stuff' done. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of buying tons of groceries that end up in the compost since (shocker!) I tend to get over ambitious with my meal planning. We're focusing on physically consuming less food (John and I) and keeping our menu simple. I can't tell you how many times I've searched out obscure ingredients at the store only to have them expire or sit on a shelf until I've forgotten what their original purpose was. This means less time preparing dinner, less time at the grocery store and more time playing with my girls, which is, by far, my favorite thing in the world.

From what I can tell a little time invested in research, purchasing bulk supplies and I'll be on the road to keeping my heiny out of target altogether, where I usually purchase toiletries and cleaning supplies...or just wander around wondering what else I can purchase that I never realized I desperately needed. This entire transition means I'll have more time at home...which is where I really want to be. 

Today, I actually got to ask the girls whether they wanted to play in the back yard, go for a walk or out to the playground by the library. I can't remember the last time we had so much free time that I actually consulted the girls about their choice in activities. 

This is the life: Living simply and loving each other. I hope I can keep this going. And, in case you couldn't already tell, I highly recommend it.

Enter the Age of the Auntie

I know I've been out of 'baby mode' for quite a while now--I was purging Baileys bouncy chairs and baby toys out of the house before she was barely through them, for Pete's sake, but after being baby obsessed for so long and then living in the survival mode that is having two kids 18 months apart, it can understandably take a while for the actual fact to sink in.

This morning I was in the bathroom at Audrey's preschool helping both of the girls wash their hands along side a mother with her 4 year old son and a baby on her hip.  I was pushing the girls along, giving hand washing instructions, trying to get Audrey to class in time and this other mother was doing likewise with her son when I heard her say "I don't know how I'm going to button your pants with one hand".  Without thinking twice I turned to her and offered to hold her baby while she buttoned her kids pants, so she wouldn't have to ask someone else to do it for him or, God forbid, try to spend a half hour instructing the kid how to do it himself while simultaneously trying to find a sanitary surface to put her baby.  And as I handed her little girl back after a few seconds, a sudden realization just slapped me in the face (as so many milestones in my life tend to do): I am no longer a Baby Mama.

I can accomplish most basic daily tasks with both hands.  When one of my kids starts crying, I can talk to them about it instead of trying to figure out what rhythm of body movement and specific altitude will get them to stop.  And although they may not heed my advice or barked orders, they sure as heck can both perfectly understand them.  

Wow.  Why hadn't I thought of that already?

Bailey is turning two in a few weeks.  She's starting to string sentences together and bosses people around almost better than her big sister can.  To top it off, Bailey now only weighs one and a half pounds less than her sister...and she's five inches shorter.  That is 32 pounds of solid Bailey.

I think all signs are pointing at our exodus from the realm of new parenting.  It's kind of coincidental that this particular observation would come today since one of my dearest friends became a Mama today.  Little Andrew Jonathan Creekmore made his entrance into the world this morning and just catapulted his parents into the realm of 'survival parenting', in which one often operates on very little sleep and much chocolate pudding.  It is so easy to accept when those sacrifices are for someone so sweet and warm and squishy.

...not that they don't stay sweet and warm and squishy, they just start to get into trouble and talk back a lot more.

I am ridiculously excited that Andrew (aka Falcon) is here and I have somewhat seriously considered ditching my own children and abandoning John for a few days all so I can hop on a plane across the country and kiss his sweet cheeks.  Enter: the age of the Auntie!

I'm so excited for this transition.  I love my nephews--each and every one of them. And more importantly, I want my girls to be able to know and love them too.  Having a relationship with my cousins was a huge part of my early life and since my cousins have had babies, it has made the expansion of the Pfaff Family feel even more wonderful and meaningful in my adulthood. All of those relationships are rooted in love that was established at a very young age.  So, even though Oliver and Isaac and Luke and now Falcon are far from us, I want the girls to feel the same deep root of kinship.

Needless to say, unless everyone I love suddenly chooses to move to our current location, I think there's going to be some serious pen-pal action in the future. 

Christmas Recovery and a Happy New Year

I think it's safe to say I've fully recovered from our Christmas extravaganza. And I use that wording because our celebration was so much more than just a Holiday gathering and anything that wonderful requires some kind of recovery period.

Looking through pictures with Great Grandma

The greatest thing about Christmas for me this year was that the actual day didn't feel too much different from the others leading up to it. We had already been so focused on spending time as a family, that the only real difference was that we opened a bunch of presents. More than anything, I am grateful for the gift of time spent with my family; to watch my girls renew old bonds and love these people who love them so dearly. I took hundreds of pictures while we were in Arkansas because I want them to be able to remember every little thing they did and every sweet memory that I will keep in my heart. 

Brunch with the Creekmores!

I was so grateful that I was able to not only see my family, but also friends I haven't been able to hug in a long time.  We had an impromptu reunion with several of my high school friends at the flower shop before I trucked it to Springfield to pick up John and he got to spend some quality time the next day with his boyfriend best friend, Matt, while I plied Jessica with cookies and marshmallows in an attempt to wake up the awesome little dude currently residing in her belly.  

 

I didn't just get to see the people I make an effort to run into whenever I'm in town...true to small-town form, I saw someone from way-back-when pretty much any time I ventured outside of my mother's house. And, unlike how I felt when I first escaped mountain home as a punk kid, this time I embraced the opportunity to hug someone I hadn't seen in over a decade or knew from Adam as a kid. I was eager to give an open smile and introduce my girls to anyone who recognized me as one of those Gamelin children. It was an entirely new experience for me and one I hope will repeat in the future. 

On our way out of town we met up with some people who were incredibly influential in our lives; Shannon and Deborah were the original conspirators in John and my relationship.  If they hadn't hired the two of us odd college kids at the library, mothered us, and generally poked and prodded us along, John and I would have missed out on the most defining experiences of our lives.  Those two ladies (and their families) are family to us and I'm only sorry we didn't get to visit longer. 

As far as travel goes, the girls are rock stars. They were as low-maintenance as could be imagined on the trip home and we are so grateful to be able to travel with them. 

Racked out with Papa

The recovery period, though, for all four of us was longer than we had anticipated. Personally, I indulged in a ridiculous amount of sugary foods while on vacation (from my problems!) and my body had to basically detox once I cut it back out of my system. Luckily, the girls are finally back on a normal sleeping pattern and John and I no longer feel eternally hung-over from the transition. 

We kept new years pretty low-key this year and chose to spend the evening with our good friends Jackie and Nate. There was pizza, beer, chocolate mousse, coffee, more chocolate and champagne involved. I also ended up seated next to our cozy pellet stove while we were whiling away the hours until midnight...which means I racked out well before the ball dropped on the west coast, but still, I couldn't have wished for a more pleasant New Years Eve. 

As far as the actual holiday goes, I've always enjoyed the celebratory spirit, but never really felt the need to mark the passing of another year with reflections on my accomplishments and hopes for new ones. Instead, I tend to mark my year with personal Willian holidays: I may take New Years as a sign that winter and the Holiday season are passing, but I look to spring, instead, with the preparation of my garden...I try to mark my self-improvement and love of all things made by God with Earth Day...On our Wedding Anniversary, I note the incredible passing of time and the blessings that have come in abundance with it...I mark my calendar with the arrival of asparagus and pumpkins, pomegranates and eggnog (and always, always pie day).  

For those of you who find personal meaning in it's celebration, I hope this New Year is one of great worth and experience. As for me, I'm glad of an extra day to spend as a family. Happy New Year!

All I Want For Christmas...

I wrote a while back about the unusual feeling of homesickness I had been having. I knew, more than anything, that the Lord is faithful-that he had something worked out for us.

Even though all signs pointed towards us not being able to visit family for the holidays, I ended up feeling a deep peace about how things would pan out. I had dreams that people I hadn't seen in ages were sending us home for Christmas and in all of those dreams I felt a deep, resounding feeling that the Lord was providing. That he had something unexpected in the works. 

And he did. 

It was amazing-the Christmas Elves (what the rest of my immediate family named themselves) pooled their resources and bought us tickets to come home for Christmas. John dug deep and found he would be able to take more time off than he had expected. It all came together. The girls and I flew in on the 17th and John will be joining us on the 23rd.  I honestly couldn't ask for more. We've only been here for three days, but spending time with my family has been wonderful. I never realized until I got out in the real world, how lucky I am to have a family I look forward to spending the holidays with.

Most people I know associate some level of dread with the high stress situations family gatherings tend to entail. Most people even have an Eddie in their family. But not me.  Our family prioritizes family-time spent together. Preferably accompanied by cake or cookies and tea. Our main priorities are what our next meal will be or which baked goods to make in between. Our schedule revolves around which home we will gather at or who we will meet up with to share time with.  We nap, read, talk, play games, arrange flowers, play with clay, watch movies and generally try to avoid Walmart. It is a blessed life and I feel blessed to be a part of it. Even more, I feel such great joy that my children are now a part of these traditions. That some day they will understand our family loves and enjoys each other every day of the year, not just to tolerate each other on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I could care less about what's under the tree this Christmas. All I want for Christmas is my family. And if you're one of my five readers viewing this, that means you too.

Sisters

Looking back on my life, a lot of things seem very clear.  They say that hindsight is 20/20 and it may be a cliche, but it's true. 

I'm not crazy...he actually likes me too.

John and I met and started working together almost eight years ago.  A year after that I was starting to freak out a little bit because I had realized not only that I wanted him to be my best friend, but I also wanted to have his babies.  Lots of them.  Dating, at that point, wasn't even a remote possibility, so you can imagine how strange it was to want to have your cowoker's children.  Luckily, he realized how awesome I was and eventually those babies actually came to be.  We might have only been married for five months when I got pregnant, but in my mind, I had already waited two and  a half years.  I thought I had shown a great deal of restraint.

This kid made (and still makes) the best faces.  EVER.

Anyway, over the years we had mapped out what we thought our family would look like and decided that not only did we want babies....but we wanted lots of them.  At least a baseball team.  And luckily, God brought us Audrey.  And she was incredibly awesome; so fantastic that we decided we had been dead-on with the decision to have kids.  Let's keep going, Thelma!  More babies!!

It was almost frightening.  Have you ever heard of the term baby rabies?  It's like having baby fever...but on crack.  And I had it.  I was actually a little worried that I would never get over the compulsive need to procreate and would eventually end up with my own reality tv show.  Stop laughing.  This really happened.

Sister love.

Anyway, 18 months later, Bailey made her appearance and she, too, was awesome.  It could not be denied.   And all I wanted at that point was for my girls to grow up together and have each other.  Eventually, the complete feeling of our little foursome made me realize that we didn't need to have a baseball team to be happy.  Ever since that miraculous change of heart, all I've wanted is to foster a good relationship between my girls. Growing up with my sister and knowing both sides of being her mortal enemy and now best friend...I just want my girls to be best buds.  The hair pulling and screaming and fighting over wardrobe items is inevitable, but mostly, I want them to love each other.  Unconditionally.  Just like I love them.

When Bailey was a baby, we used to talk about: "Someday, these girls will be old enough to play together".  "Someday, they'll have each other's backs".  And you know what?  That day is now.

It has taken seven years to come from the shocking realization that all I wanted out of life was for John to be the father of my children to finding that place where we feel absolutely complete. 

Audrey and Bailey have started playing together.  They've played around each other and shared toys and said 'please' and 'thank you'....but now they are playmates.  They wrestle around on the ground tickling each other and laughing.  They encourage each other in the milestones they reach.  They play chase and ring-around-the-rosie.  Audrey reads to Bailey and they occasionally hold hands while wandering around the house. 

How could that not make me complete? 

Well, they took it to another level this week. 

Bailey has been potty training for several months and we were almost to the point that I was feeling comfortable having her in undies and knowing she knew what she was doing. 

...they always wait until you're comfortable to throw a wrench in the works.

Enter:  The most akward parenting experience I've ever had (and I'm including Audrey's notorious turd on the floor incident) 

Bailey peed on our friends couch.  And not like: "Whoops I had an accident", but like: "Hey, did someone spill a pitcher of water over here?".  What do you do? 

Well, first you apologize a lot. 

A LOT.

Then you go change your kid out of her pee-soaked clothes and, while your at it, you put both of your kiddos in their jammies because it's already an hour after their bed time and you still have to figure out what to do about the pee.

So, while I'm in the bathroom getting the girls changed, Audrey comes to me and says: "Mama, I peed on the couch because I had to go potty."

And at first I thought she actually thought she had an accident and didn't realize it.  So, I explained in depth that her pants were dry...yadda, yadda, yadda.  It was Bailey.  Not her.

But she kept insisting.  She never faltered.  She was taking the blame for her kid sister because she could see how flustered her parents were over the situation.  She wanted to make sure Bailey wasn't punished and was willing to stand in her stead. 

That just blew me away; I wanted my girls to be buddies.  But they're more than that.  They're sisters.  They've got each other's backs.  And that, my friends, points straight to God.  No one else could have fostered that relationship.  I only pray he keeps it going till I'm long gone.  

 And by the way, after your kid pees all over someone's furniture, I recommend getting it professionally cleaned.  Just put that one in the memory bank if you're ever in the same, mortifying situation. 

St. Nicholas Day (eve) Shenanegans

Making believe with her Christmas Village minions

In the spirit of keepin' it jolly this year, we've been observing many holiday traditions.  We started off by decorating the tree...and then things seemed to trickle to the rest of the house.  Audrey and Bailey have been absolutely fascinated by the Christmas village Marlene puts up every year.  The plush Snowmen, penguins, and animated musical Christmas toys have been making the rounds. John attempted to pull a Clark W. Griswold in decorating the exterior of the house, but was soon poo-pooed by his overbearing wife.  (I'm happy to report that we now have a very tasteful display of twinkle lights to greet us any time we come home after dark.)  We've gone out to look at Christmas lights, decorated a gingerbread house with the fantastic Hilliard kids...you name it.  If it's jolly, we're all over it. 

We use 'decorating' and 'eating' interchangeably around here...

And today, we've done something that I hope will go down in the annals as our newest holiday tradition.

John and I have talked about celebrating St. Nicholas Day since before we had kids, but we haven't really felt like either of the girls were able to understand the meaning behind it until this year.  So, naturally, I decided to pull out all the stops and make a big deal out of it.  I mean, this is stockings we're talking about.  I have so many happy memories of waking up Christmas morning and being handed the same familiar, over-sized red stocking full of fruit, nuts, chocolate and always a wrapped gift or two.  You might be able to say that opening my stocking was as comforting as knowing there would be pie for breakfast the day after Christmas.  It's that good.

So, understandably, I am unwilling to let St. Nicholas Day be an uneventful day in which the girls happen to get some presents stuffed in a sock.  Oh, no.  And I'm also stubborn enough to want them to understand that this is also a part of the Christmas story; that St. Nicholas was a generous man because it was an extension of his love for Christ.

So...we I went a little crazy.

My little elves packing our St. Nick gifts

I'm ashamed to say that I don't personally know anyone I would consider needy--no one who would welcome a gift of food or clothing because they genuinely are in need of it.  That's something I need to work on.  But, since this is a new thing and we are just beginning, I decided we would gift our neighbors with a little something.

...for all seventeen of them.

The girls and I loaded up gift bags with the things I remember fondly pulling out of my stocking as a child:  apples, oranges, pears, grapefruits, mixed nuts in the shell, and of course: chocolate.  We also included a note telling them Happy St. Nicholas Day with an explanation that this offering was symbolic of our love for them as we love Christ.

Enjoying a treat after all that hard work

...And that's not all.

After a St. Nicholas Day feast, we packed the car full of the gift bags and headed out into the night to covertly deliver our packages.  Even though I had been working on this concept with Audrey for days, she was still confused.  Why are we putting on snow boots with our pajamas?  Why is Dad following us in the car while we go on a walk?  Bailey, in particular, was not happy that the gifts she had lovingly packed were seemingly abandoned to strangers' doorsteps in the night.  But, we had fun.  It was a new beginning to a really fun tradition. And I hope we will be able to keep it up in the years to follow.

Cheers!

When we finished delivering our packages, we came home for some celebratory chocolate milk (since my girls won't drink hot cocoa...yet.) and had a very thorough discussion about how they thought our neighbors would feel when they realized in the morning that someone had left them a gift.  It was around that point that I could see the light bulbs going off...at least for Audrey.  Bailey was really just jazzed to be drinking chocolate milk at 8pm and kept making toasts.

Anyway,  If you think that was where I left it, you clearly don't know me.  It's not even St. Nicholas Day yet!  All of that was just a set up for the girls to understand why they would wake up in the morning to giant stockings full of presents and a rockin' breakfast.  I can't wait for them to wake up, to see their faces light up when they see their stockings stuffed to the brim and to live a little vicariously through their joy.  Ain't parenting grand?

 Happy St. Nicholas Day (eve) to all!  And to all a good night!

     

Gettin' Jolly

Thanksgiving could not come and go fast enough for me this year.  I am usually all about taking time to respect the Turkey and even (generally) conform to John's views that Christmas music and eggnog consumption should be limited to the month of December.  But this year...what can I say?  I've been feeling extra festive and have overtly flaunted my Christmas Cheer in front of my disapproving husband.  I love being able to share the meaning of the holidays with the girls...especially now that Audrey can understand more complex concepts than: Hey, look!  Lights! or Wohoo!! Presents! 

Instead we've been discussing what it means to be needy or less fortunate, why the birth of Jesus was so overwhelmingly awesome, and most importantly, why we should be generous, kind and make an effort to give to others as an extension of our joy.  Maybe by the time the girls are mothers it will have hit home. 

While I wish I were staunch enough to stick simply to those concepts, I am a sucker for the comfort of tradition.  So, we've been observing many of the traditions that remind John and me of the holiday seasons we spent growing up.  The day after Thanksgiving, we pulled the ole artificial tree out of it's box and set it up in the living room.  Shortly thereafter, we realized that almost all of the old lights were kaput.  Now, hopefully purchasing new lights every few years will become a thing of the past since we replaced ours with LED's...which Jeff informed me will last until the girls are my age.  I'm holding him to that.

Even after purchasing lights, we further put off decorating the tree to observe small business Saturday and I am so glad we did.  Supporting local businesses appeals to almost every aspect of my personality, so we really enjoyed bumming around downtown Richland, finding some presents for family at our local Kitchen supply store (Ariel's) and splurging on some amazing cheese and wine at Cheese Louise.  We ate lunch at Fat Olive's and stopped by Kelley's bakery on the way home to get a cake for Oliver's early first birthday celebration.   

After the littles were all up from their naps, we strapped the D-Man into his high chair, sang to him and sat around gawking as he studiously ate his birthday cake.  Since we will miss out on Ollie's actual birthday shindig, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to shower him with cake and presents for the first time. 

Just as dusk hit, we finally started decorating the Christmas tree; the Audrey girl took to this with a very serious attitude.  John brought out a chair for her to stand on and she set out to make ours the best-looking tree on the block.  The ever-rambunctious Bailey even did a pretty decent job of getting ornaments in their proper place.  On the whole, it was a really nice day to embrace the coming of Christmas.  The kiddos had some great play time (potentially inspired by their cake-induced sugar highs) in the Christmas Tree box.  Seriously.  How are we going to top that dang box with Christmas gifts this year?

 Since then, we've been listening to Christmas music (Bailey is not happy about this development as it cuts into her audio book time) decorating with poinsettias, eating candy canes, drinking eggnog, making gingerbread, and are gearing up for our big St. Nicholas Day event this year.  (Yes, I'm going to leave you hanging on that one)  Most of all, I'm thankful that Thanksgiving is over so I don't have to feel guilty about the compulsion to go all Jolly on everyone.