On Need...

John recently returned from a quick business trip to D.C. It's been a long time since he's been out of town without us and we (read: I) were slightly wimpy in dealing with separation. Needless to say, his homecoming was a sweetly anticipated event. I brought the girls with me to the airport; Audrey talked animatedly the entire way there about her Papa. ("Mama, we pick Papa up at the airport? You excited Mama? Audrey excited!") It was like Christmas. Little A was the first one to see John and she gave a sweet cry of excitement before running to him. It doesn't get much better than that.

When we got home, Audrey opened a present her Papa had brought back for her with barely-concealed anticipation. It was a snow globe with the capital building at its center. She was mesmerized by the flitting snowflakes and the smooth glass bulb; she showed it to everyone and reminded us that (Mary) Poppins had one too. She probably would've slept with it if she could. I was the perfect little token from her Papa...and then after several warnings from her parents about keeping it on the carpet the next day, she dropped it on the tile in the kitchen and it shattered.

que crying.

I wanted to cry too.

I talked to John on the phone and told him what happened. He thought maybe it was a sign that he needs to be more aware of how age-appropriate her toys are. But after honestly mourning the loss of that snow globe, I realized: wait a tick. That was just a snow globe. It represented the love that a Papa has for his daughter, but it didn't replace it. It was just a possession.

Now, that may seem harsh, but it's true. And how often do we let possessions overcome our homes because we feel they give us value or make us feel good? I know the Schweighardts are notorious for not letting things go (trust me, we're working on it) but everyone falls victim to the idolization of personal possessions. So, it's in that spirit that I've begun de-cluttering our lives. Now, I never in a million years would have gotten rid of that snow globe, but I've begun to look differently at my personal things. How much of this stuff to I actually need? I mean really...NEED.

You'd be amazed at what you don't need. And how hard it can be to accept the mentality that you really don't need 6 light-weather jackets. I have a jacket obsession. And a purse addiction. I recognized my lust after purses a long time ago and just stopped carrying one. But you can't stop wearing jackets. Apparently I also couldn't stop justifying the purchase of them either.

My wardrobe has certainly been under heavy attack, but I've begun to look around the rooms in this house--at the excessive amount of stuff that two small children can accumulate--and I tell myself we don't need it. And it's freeing.

Material possessions will not fulfill or define my life or make me feel loved; God does that. Any time I find myself thinking "but what if I need this later?" while tossing something in the give pile, I remind myself that God is the one providing for me. If I really need something, I'll have it.

Now, I'm not talking about living on bare bones here. There's room for toys and games and ice cream in this little experiment. I think what I'm really striving to discover is why I hold on to the things I have, why I covet the things I don't have and in the jumble I'd like to figure out what it is I really need. Wouldn't that be liberating?

Better Late than Never

I think I've mentioned on occasion how life here gets crazy...and then stays crazy. Well, that's what's been going on.

The End.

What? You want pictures?

Ok, fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you about the craziness.

Jessica came out to visit us in the Tri-Cities. This time she tried to be nice and take the Greyhound over from Seattle just on the off-chance that I might get stuck in traffic on the way to pick her up and have to pee in the woods again. Instead, she ended up stranded with a bunch of wackos at a Luv's gas station because their bus broke down. This is what happens when you try to do nice things. I ended up driving out to pick her up in Ellensburg anyway. We never ended up peeing in the woods, so there's the happy ending to that story.

Richard needed a big glass of wine when she finally got to our house. I approve of her parenting technique here.

Jessica flew with us into Memphis, where she and Matt live. We stayed overnight at their place and wished we had time to stick around longer.

Matt got the most bang for his buck and showered Audrey with gifts of stuffed animals and bubbles when we arrived then taught her how to play guitar and threw her a dance party. They instantly became best friends. This is a big deal. You should be taking notes.

The next day we drove to Mtn. Home and finally made it to Grandma and Grandpa G.'s house! They had story time like this every night before bed.


Uncle Joe even made it over to see the girls for the weekend.

And we spent lots of time eating and visiting with the whole Gamelin clan.

In comparison to the dry heat we have in the Tri-Cities, breathing in the Midwest heat was like that scene in The Abyss where Bud has to get used to breathing liquid oxygen. We decided to go to the river to cool off and recover. It was an excellent notion. Check out Audrey's awesome curls; her hair really reacts to the humidity.

We eventually got used to the oppressive humidity and that's why Audrey is smiling in this picture. Or maybe it's because it was her Mtn. Home birthday celebration. After months of practicing blowing out candles, she just stared at hers while the rest of us nearly hyperventilated trying to show her how it's done.


Grandma G. made Audrey a Carmen Miranda fruit hat complete with homemade felt fruit. This is the only existing picture of her smiling with it on. Bailey has since claimed the fruit hat and loves wearing it.

Hat-wearing might not be one of the Dragon's favorite activities, but swimming and eating hotdogs at the lake sure is. She's in heaven.

After the weekend, we took a day trip to see Shannon and Deborah in Springfield. We had a great visit with those ladies--they're the only thing I really miss about Springfield...well, them and Andy's frozen custard. But being compared to Andy's frozen custard should be a compliment in anyone's book.

When we got home I had to make sure we documented how much my pine tree has grown. It is now taller than me! It only took 18 years!

We hung out at the shop and played in Grandma G's pottery studio.

Eventually it was time to go home, but not without first convincing Grandpa G. to take us to Cracker Barrel. He really is a great Grandpa.

When we got back to the Tri-Cities all we did was cook and grocery shop and cook some more. (that's the apron my Mom made for my birthday)


Then I woke up and my baby girl was suddenly two years old. At least she ate the cake this year.

The very next day we headed out on a grand adventure to Mt. Adams. This is a picture of the fam with the Columbia River Gorge in the background.

We stopped at the Maryhill Museum to have a picnic lunch and commune with the peacocks.(not pictured)


We finally made it to the campground, set up camp and got into warm jammies for the night.

Meanwhile, my Dad and John's buddy, Dustin, drove to a camp site closer to this monster: Mt. Adams! (please note I could not get a to-scale picture of John's head in reference to the Mountain...maybe next time when I'm not shouting at him to stop the car so I can take a picture...)


Here are the Manly Mountain Men before heading out; they set out to make the summit in one day and Dad didn't quite make it. You should see the blisters. I wouldn't have even made it to the tree line.

While the Mountain Men were busy climbing, the rest of us set out on a grand sight-seeing adventure...along the way we met this llama...he was staked to the side of the road. I'm not sure that's even legal, but we wanted to rescue him and take him home. I still can't figure out who's staring who down here.

*If I could take a picture that somehow encompassed driving around Godforsaken poorly-maintained dirt roads in the middle of this-is-where-the-psycho-killers-lurk beautifully deserted pine forests for over two hours...it would be here*

At the end of that adventure we got to hike to a river where the girls dipped their toes...so it was all worth it.

Then Audrey slipped in the water, soaking her shorts and undies because she knew I hadn't packed extras for the hike. This is why you always carry a bandana, folks.

On the way home from camping we stopped outside of Portland to eat lunch and take a hike to Punchbowl falls.

Bailey is getting to be too much to handle when she's in a front-carrier...groping at everything in sight and attempting to wrestle with me ala baby bear attack, so she's been bumped to the cheap seats...she loves it.

Meanwhile, Audrey rode on Papa's back like the Queen of Sheba. She gets very exited about going in the carrier and likes to tickle her Papa's neck.

And here we have the last photo I uploaded to our computer: Audrey and Papa at majestic Punchbowl Falls (not pictured)

Needless to say much has happened since then and there are a plethora of things I wish I had time to reflect on in my blog. But that balance thing? Not going so well in favor of the laundry or the blogging or the checking my email. We bought a Trager grill and my garden has been producing like crazy...I seriously have about 30 tomatoes in my kitchen begging to be canned right now. Can you hear them? They're screaming: preserve me!!!! Stop butchering the 50lbs. of meat you bought in bulk and can me!!!

I think they're going to have to cry it out. I'm going to bed.

That Was Never There

In the Pfaff family it has been a long-standing tradition to go on 'the tour' whenever my mother visits her sister Jeanne near Chicago. What tour, you say? A tour of the historic city of Chicago? Perhaps a tour of the Chicago Art Insitute or some of Frank Lloyd Wright's beautiful creations? Well, Frank Lloyd Wright is certainly involved, but I don't think he ever intended his masterpieces to be viewed in this particular fashion.

'The Tour', as it will always be referred to, is an experience unto itself. It always involves my mother and my Aunt Jeanne...laughing hysterically (And maybe just a bit sadistically). It also always involves one or more of the Pfaff grandchildren and miscellaneous hapless victims of their acquaintance. Really, it's anyone those two can fit in the van under the pretense of going to get ice cream.

While on the tour one of the aforementioned nutballs will drive at an embarrassingly slow speed around the Pfaff children's childhood haunts: their old house, the alleyway behind their old house, their friends old houses, supposedly haunted houses, their old schools, the fireball factory, the cemetery they had to walk through to get home from the movie theater, and yes, a Frank Lloyd Wright house which is never open for tours at the hour we visit, yet a tour is attempted all the same. This may sound tame, but please bear in mind that the hysterical laughter emitting from my Aunt and Mother only ceases to point out yet another attraction on the tour or to explain, yet again, how we might actually be Jewish. There is a definite sense of being trapped defenselessly in a moving vehicle (however slow it may be) Putting aside the horror stories and nostalgia, there has always been one predominant level of confusion for me while on the tour; the number one uttered phrase (aside from 'Can we just get ice cream now?') is: "And you see that? That was never there!" A phrase which, until recently for me, comically made little sense.

Luckily, my epiphany came in the form of cherry jello. As we all know, any good story stars with a sugar high, and that, my friends, is why you are now being unwittingly dragged into a tour of my childhood home. Just feel lucky I didn't canvas all of Mtn. Home.

Here is the cherry jello I grabbed out of the fridge and unrepentantly ate out of the storage container. It is no longer with us. May it rest in peace.

This is the cabinet over my parents island in the kitchen. That? That was always there. So was the painting of mushrooms and the old bottle of 'medicine for the heart' on top which I am told simply contained ketchup at the time it was marketed for such purposes.

This shelf has also always been there. Those are replicas of buildings from Oswego, where we lived before moving to Arkansas. That hanging apple ornament and the cinnamon heart decorations? Also always there.

This is my parents fridge. This particular one was never there...but the pictures, well, there were always pictures there. Lots and lots of pictures.

In fact, there were so many pictures on my parents fridge that there were also pictures on the insides of the cabinet doors. Those were always there.

My mother will probably kill me for posting this, but this is her dresser. That dresser and mirror and lamp were never there. But the pictures always were there and I love them. They're there because they're all the people she wants with her.

Now I'm moving on to some of my favorite pieces of art; note there are no pieces by Picasso or Van Gogh. This painting is by my Mother. It sums up a few of my favorite things: dirt roads, dense trees and water.

That mirror is just one of many beautiful pieces in our house made by my Uncle Jim. And the painting is by my Great Granny Gamelin.

I can't get enough of this one.

Or this one either. I used to stare at it for ages when I was a kid; it's a scene at a wedding. The newlyweds are saying their goodbyes just before they depart.

Anyway, gooey sentimentality aside, that is my childhood home to me; the things that were always there and now the increasing number of things that were never there. I think I've uttered that phrase more this past week than any other in my life. Mom and Jeanne would be proud.

I hope you enjoyed the tour. Trust me, it was much quicker and less painful than the ones I've been duped into. To my knowledge, no one was almost accosted while driving slowly through a remote cemetery or brought to tears by either laughter or pain. Consider that a victory, because I'm definitely not taking you out for ice cream and all the cherry jello is definitely gone.

More Updates Than You Would Ever Want

Summer in the Tri-Cities is pretty much the busiest time of year for us here at the Schweighardt Complex. Forget Christmas and Thanksgiving, or even the birth of children, these three months consist of the most travel, company and celebration we'll see all year. Did I mention Steve, Julie, Isaac, Lucas and Uncle Joe all came to visit? Well, before we met up with them in Portland, we spent a weekend in Vancouver to see D'Arcy debut on pointe. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Duck is an amazing dancer! I so look forward to getting Audrey involved in dance. Judging from the private performances she gives us at home, she'll be nothing short of a natural.

That weekend we got in a lot of quality time with the Moore kids and also got to pick up Uncle Joe in Portland. Before heading home through the Gorge, we decided to take a side trip to the Oregon Coast to see Haystack Rock. Uncle Joe had never been to Cannon Beach and he was excited to see the notorious formation from The Goonies. (Never say die!!) As always, Audrey was super stoked to see the ocean. I wish we lived closer!


Steve and Julie caught up with us in the Tri-Cities a few days later; we had a great time showing them around the area and attempting to convince them to move to the Northwest. Audrey and Isaac amazingly got along very well while they were here. Isaac has had a tendency to deny Audrey's existence while they're in the same room, so I was floored when they started giggling, and chasing each other around the house. Luke and Bailey really just sat around smiling, getting tickled and being cute. It's a rough life.


I've appeared to somewhat drop off the radar since then because we spent the rest of the month of June trying to get ready for the Annual Schweighardt 4th of July Extravaganza. We had the fence replaced, hauled off all the old wood, ripped out plants, planted new ones, assembled lawn furniture, swept, cleaned and hosed down every surface and then played some bocce ball. In between all that, I tried to fit in all the birthday celebrating I could. I've been eating steak, (really, really good steak) and drinking wine, getting my toes painted, helping Audrey make birthday cake, drinking lots of coffee, shopping at my favorite kitchen store and picking out new running shoes. Let's just say I take the Gamelin motto of "Celebrate early and often" to heart.

All too soon the 4th of July was upon us! It's not only our Country's Birthday, but Tina's birthday as well! Between prepping for the party and greeting out of town guests, we had a birthday celebration for Tina complete with fairy cupcakes. I think she's starting to understand what those Christmas babies are complaining about.

The 4th ended up being an uncharacteristically cool windy day in the Tri-Cities and we had a record number of people over at the house. I made a 14 lb. brisket that was so yummy, I've decided to make 30 lbs. for next year's celebration. Add 36 hamburgers and 90 hotdogs to that and you've got one heck of a celebration.

For entertainment this year we filled close to 400 water balloons for an incredible battle between the kids and a few young-hearted adults. Jeff also was in charge of our private fireworks show and after that we settled in to relax and watch the City of Kennewick's show from our back yard. It's a tradition (for those of us who are so inclined) to smoke cigars during the Fireworks show; I've been pregnant for the past two 4ths and have had to abstain from this particular indulgence, so man, oh man, was it a welcome respite from all the hard work we'd put in to sit back with a beer and a cigar and just relax for a while.

Needless to say, this morning we woke to a house that looked like it had hosted a frat party and even though we had lots of help cleaning up the night before, it was time to start prepping food to do it all again for Granny's 70th Surprise Birthday Party! We spent the morning tearing down decorations, putting up new ones and cooking food to celebrate one heck of a Grandma. The surprise, by the way, was a complete success...maybe too much of a success. We're just glad we didn't give her a heart attack.

Now we're looking forward to a visit from my buddy Jessica and a trip with the girls back to the North of the South. Then my parents are coming back with us to celebrate Audrey's birthday and do some camping and climbing at Mt. Adams. I love this picture of them together at the airport when they flew in for her 1st birthday last year. I'm thinking this year she'll actually eat the cake.


Here are some videos for your viewing pleasure too: Audrey running to the ocean and Granny's reaction to the surprise!

On Balance

I've been writing a lot of posts lately that don't get published. Occasionally I start writing about what's been going on around here the past few weeks, but most of these posts end up as a diatribe about finding balance in parenting. And if you're interested, here's the summary: It's not possible to obtain balance as a mother...yet I'm obsessed with finding it.

It's finally summer in the Tri-Cities and we have been doing a lot of hard work in the yard, traveling and generally having a good time. Needless to say, the laundry is never done. But I try. It is also physically impossible to get dinner on the table before 7pm. Yet I try. And I also feel the increasing need to spend every waking moment showing those two girls all the love I have in my heart for them. But there's the laundry and dinner to make. It's a vicious cycle.

John has been giving me the old wary eye the past week or so and asking me more often than usual if I'm okay or telling me I work too hard. Apparently I've been giving him the old I'm-exhausted-and-don't-have-time-for-this-right-now look more often than not. I also happen to have a stye on my eyelid the size of Texas that popped up and won't go away. I hear these things are caused by stress. Apparently it's a physical reminder that I'm trying a little too hard to make things balance.

Anyway, the observation that I'm visibly stressed out kind of came as a shock to me since I feel like, personally, I'm making a lot of progress in my efforts to take it easy; I'm trying to be slower to anger and faster to forgive, I let situations with the girls that would normally make me want to rip my hair out wash over me instead. I try to find God's grace in the seemingly bad things and rejoice in the unquestionably good. And then I look in the mirror and see that horrible bulging red bump on my eye screaming to the world: " she's falling apart!"

Listen up, unsightly stye, I'm just trying to do it all here. Is that so much to ask?

Let's just say I haven't grown in the area of giving up ridiculous aspirations.

While I may not be good at giving up things like letting anyone else fold the laundry, (lest the world should come to an end without my shirts folded uniformly) one big thing that I have recently conceded is that having two kids might actually make our family complete. This is a huge departure for the lady who wanted nothing more than to have her own personal soccer team of children. I love being pregnant and for the longest time it just felt like my default state of being. But pregnancies most often result in an infant that you're expected to love and shower with kisses and pay college tuition for. That's a heavy burden of responsibility, especially considering it takes more time and energy to take care of my oldest than it does her baby sister.

Audrey is fantastic and hilarious and generally a real treat to be around, but she's challenging. That kid lobs curve balls at me every day--sometimes they make me laugh, like her demanding I stop driving and get out of the car. Other days I struggle to keep sane when she suddenly decides she's not potty trained and wets through four outfits in one morning. Yet every day I find myself amazed by how beautiful, intelligent and special she is. A kid like that requires a lot of attention, especially as she's struggling to understand her wild emotions.

Now, the Gunni? She loves her sister just as much as I do. The two of them are already in cahoots; Bailey loves wrestling with Audrey in bed, grabbing at her face and trying to eat her hair. It makes Audrey laugh hysterically which in turn makes the Gunni gurgle. There's a lot of love between those two. Bailey has a tendency to get fussy at the dinner table (I think she's starting to feel a bit of jealousy about table food) and when bouncing her on Mama's knee doesn't help, her big Sis can always make her smile. A few nights ago while we were eating Audrey told Bailey she smelled like a monkey and kept waving her hands in B's face yelling "Pee Yew!" Much laughter ensued.

So what does it all come down to? I cannot describe how fulfilling it is to be the mother of these two girls. I am constantly challenged and in awe of how amazing God has made our lives. I feel like my life would be perfectly whole if we weren't blessed with more children yet I'm keeping my mind open to the possibility of more. I also should resolve that I will stop trying to be a super mom, expecting balance in my life...but I just can't let go. There's a reason Audrey has a stubborn streak a mile wide--she's learned from the best.

For The Addicts...

Because I just recovered from weekend of traveling with two little ones and an amazing migraine headache, I'm taking the lazy way out--here's a video from last month. I'll post some newer ones in my next post.
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It's About Time!

I have been slacking. But I'm not really going to offer any apologies because I've been busy...busy grocery shopping. And cooking. And cleaning, cooking some more and then loving on my babies. But don't ask about the laundry. The horror!

Anyway, the girls are now officially 4 months and 22 months old. That means my little Dragon is almost a two-year old! How did this happen? I remember going to the hospital and then bringing her home, but this all seems so sudden. It really is surreal, even though hearing Audrey bark orders at everyone in the house (including the dog) should remind me that she's growing up. And man, oh, man do I have my work cut out for me. I can already see the little seed of teenage rebellion planted in that kid's head. She is constantly testing every adult figure she comes into contact with to see what she can get away with. And here I thought I had gotten off the hook with a kid who doesn't leap into parking lots without a thought or try to climb the drapes. I've always found joy in how advanced Audrey has been cognitively and verbally, but now I'm starting to see the challenges of having a smart kid who can talk. John and I joke about it, but she has already mastered the art of diversion.

Mama: "Audrey, we need to go get ready for bed."
Audrey: "Mama, I need to go potty bad!"
Mama: "Ok, let's go to the potty."
Audrey: " I see Caba!"
Mama: "We're going to the potty."
Audrey: "But I see phone!!"

It's not working kid. Mama's impervious to shiny objects.

In addition to trying to distract us to get her way, she just outright orders people around. I can't tell you how many times I heard her yell "Seth, come here!!" this past weekend. We're working on manners.

Little A is also experimenting with temper tantrums, especially when she's tired or hungry or needs to go to the bathroom. It's loud and emotionally draining (for all of us) , but we're working on nipping those emotional breakdowns in the bud. Sometimes I forget how difficult it is for kids to figure out emotions. Heck, I feel justified biting anyone's head off who looks at me funny before I've had my coffee in the morning. I figure not being able to work out what intense emotion you're experiencing is much more frustrating than just being a sleep-deprived crank.

In the mean time, Bailey is still my super chill baby. We went in for her four month appointment and she now weighs 16 lbs. 6 oz. and is 25 inches long. That means she's made the jump to the top of the charts in both height and weight; there's no way she's gonna let her sister out-do her just because she's younger.

The Gunni is really just a happy kid; she loves lots of attention and will reward you with the world's cutest shy smile if you give it to her. She's also showing much more interest in moving than her big sis did as a baby; she's already rolling over, almost able to sit independently and she loves to pull up on my thumbs to stand. She's ready! Even Dr. D said she'll probably be an early crawler/walker. I know most parents shudder at the thought of another mobile child, but I like the idea of taking a step toward independence for both of us.

Life at the Ranch has been busy as usual; we had the Moore kids over for the long weekend and we had a fantastic time. The women-folk had a ladies tea (complete with scones and cucumber sandwiches) on Saturday and the boys barbecued and camped out in the back yard. Sunday was the Indy-500 (an institution in the Schweighardt house) and I was so busy cooking and *cough* shopping *cough* that I didn't get to see it. shame.

Marlene is staying with the kids in Vancouver for the next few weeks and we somehow convinced her to let Hannah stay with us until the 11th when we'll drive over to see D'Arcy debut on pointe. I'm so excited to see Duck dance again and I cannot wait until Audrey is old enough to don her own little tutu and flit about stage. The tippy toes don't lie; that girl's going to be a dancer.

The same weekend we're going to see D'Arcy dance, Steve and Julie are going to be in Portland for a conference. Joe has decided to fly out too and then they're all driving over to spend the rest of the week with us in the Tri-Cities. Having company that loves food really is dangerous; I'll probably be about 10 pounds heavier by the end of this visit.

The rest of the summer is going to go by in a blur of travel, celebration and food. Coming attractions include: Father's Day, my birthday, Marlene's 70th birthday!, the Schweighardt's annual 4th of July crazy extravaganza, a visit from my best buddy Jessica, a trip back to the Midwest with the girls, my parents flying back to the Tri-Cities with me, Audrey's birthday and a camping trip to Mt. Adams. somewhere in there I have to convince my sister to come to the Benton-Franklin County Fair; it just feels wrong to go without her now.

I'm exhausted just writing that out. I think I'll take a nap now while I can.