I'm Feeling a Little Crunchy

I was going to put off this post until Earth Day (Mark your calendars!) but both the girls are asleep and John is downstairs watching the Mariners, so I figured I'd jump the gun a little. We've already established that I celebrate quite a few unorthodox personal hollidays and Earth Day is really no different aside from the fact that it's written in most calendars and, luckily, corporations latch on to the green movement in any way possible in the hopes of profiting from us silly hippy folks.

My giddy anticipation of Earth Day must have started in 2nd grade when all the students in my class were given baby pine trees to take home and plant. I think mine is probably the only one that survived...and that's really just because we buried my sister's dead goldfish, Fluffy, under it. (p.s. I highly recommend dead fish as fertilizer--we did the same thing for our baby Blue Spruce out here. It was a touching ceremony. I sang 'Circle of Life' from the Lion King.) Anyway! Back to second grade! Being the goody-two-shoes kid I was, I really got a kick out of feeling like I was making a difference in the planet by planting this tree...a tree that now boasts a single poof of foliage about the size of a grapefruit. But STILL! Every year after that, I looked forward to Earth Day. It made me feel good to be crunchy.

Now every year Earth Day seems to signify a new year for me; it's a time to reevaluate the choices I make in my life and try to make them more environmentally friendly. Having kids has also changed my perspective on how crunchy I'm willing to be. It is amazing how much children pick up simply by observing the people modeling behaviors around them. And if I'm committed to loving my planet, hopefully my kids will be too.

This Earth Week started out as many before have; I have plans for planting in my garden and my main goal was something small-- to get back on the cloth diaper wagon for Bailey since I've been lazy and probably only doing half and half. But, fortuitously, my cousin Jinnie sent me a link to a blog post at Sorta Crunchy. I started following the blog. And then I became obsessed with reading the archives. And before I knew it I was washing my hair with baking soda and contemplating giving up toilet paper. It's a slippery slope. And I just love being crunchy.

so, without further ado, here is my 2010 list of ways I want to crunchify my life:

• I finally convinced John to buy a universal battery charger. Kid's toys/gear suck up so much battery juice and batteries are expensive! My inner Scrooge McDuck cackled when I got my hands on that new charger. And I get to play it off as being concerned for the environment.
  
• Using hankies instead of paper tissues: we already did this with the girls, but why not ourselves? I've started putting a stack of flannel 'wipes' in the bathroom for this purpose and I hope to invest in some quaint handkerchiefs.
  
• Using cloth in the kitchen: it is so, so easy to just reach over and grab a paper towel to dry your hands, but I've been trying to catch myself and reserve the paper towels for messes so yicky-sticky I wouldn't want to try washing it out. On that note, I'd also love to convert to cloth napkins eventually.
  
• Natural, homemade shampoo and 'conditioner': This one John was (read: IS) very skeptical of and it might just merit it's own blog post some day.
  
• For food: growing our own produce, composting, buying local meat/milk, fair trade coffee and trying to shop more at our local farmer's market/health food store
  

Now, I have to clarify that most of the things I want to commit to also speak to my inner cheapskate self. Going green in many cases saves money and I love saving money! It's an excuse to feel better about my gluttonous Starbucks addiction.

I also want to make sure this does not come off as an excuse to toot my own horn; there are many areas of my life that are hideously wasteful and making strides in areas I do enjoy conserving makes me feel a little less guilty about taking sinfully long hot showers or forgetting to turn lights out when I leave the room. Everybody has their own areas they feel more comfortable going granola in and mine tend to be more extreme than the average bear...or Midwest resident. Seattlites and Portlanders, though? This steel-cut-oat-eatin' Mama's got nothin' on those wack jobs. Now go hug a tree.

Reaching the Summit

Reader Beware: This post will most likely include a ludicrous number of mountain puns, but bear with me; that's just how I roll.

Even though the girls have been under the weather and there were a million other things that we really should have been attending to on Saturday, John and I decided to get out of the house and hike Badger Mountain together. I don't remember the last time we did this. It was when Audrey was not so large and in charge...that's for sure. She definitely wasn't mobile or capable of yelling the phrase "come on!!" yet.

Even though John and I have a great love for hiking, we've found ourselves reluctant to take the girls with us. It's a hassle; there is so much more gear to carry. Add in potty training and feeding schedules and you've got another mountain to traverse before you've even left the house. But we NEEDED to get out of the house and get some exercise. Spring had sprung! We had to be out enjoying nature! So, we took the mandatory hour and a half to get the girls fed, clothed, packed up, diapered/potty break-ed and into the car and we headed to the mountain. John carried the camelbak pack and Bailey in her front carrier while I proudly wore Audrey in my Moby wrap on my back. It has been a long time since I've worn Audrey in a carrier and she was not ecstatic about it from the get-go. But, I'm the Mama...and I'm more stubborn than she is. If only by a hair. After a few minutes of shrieking, struggling to get out and screaming anything from "UPPY!" to "I Potty!" or "I'm Heavy!!!" The Dragon finally gave in (for the most part) and allowed me to carry her on my back up the Mountain. One mountain conquered. Check!

We had decided to take the back way up Badger; it's not as steep, but the trail is much longer. And I was plugging along, trying not to stop for water breaks because I knew Audrey would come out of her sick-sleepy stupor and start screaming again. And I started thinking...like I haven't been able to think since having a baby...because recently every waking moment consists of thoughts of parenting and what I need to be doing next. But, what I needed to do next on the mountain was keep walking. And that was the easy part.

I started thinking about how difficult it is to hike when you're flabby and out of shape and when I wanted to rest I remembered how hard labor was and the climbing seemed like sissy stuff. I thought about my girls and my struggles with breastfeeding and how I've come to peace with my decisions for them. I thought about how proud I am of the things I set out to conquer successfully like natural childbirth, baby wearing and cloth diapering and I was proud for having succeeded. Mostly I thought of all the struggles I've been through as a parent and whether I felt I had come out victorious or struggled relentlessly instead.

Amidst all this John insisted that I stop for water breaks or to catch my breath and eventually he told me it was time to turn around; that we didn't need to make it to the summit today; that we had gotten some great exercise and a lot of quality time with the girls. And he was right. I had set out to hike the summit to prove that I could do it. But I didn't need to. So I turned around and on the way back down I thought about how parenting is really just hiking a series of mountains, trying like hell to reach the summit, knowing you might never reach it and being ok with it.

And I Thought Drowning in Laundry Was Bad...

Now I'm drowning in snot. And it's not even mine. At least in the hierarchy of body fluids, snot is pretty low on the 'goo!' factor for me. I won't go into what's on the high end of the spectrum for those of you with weak stomachs, but believe me...I've been immersed in it all!

The girls have been feeling yucky the past few days and John had the opportunity to photograph something that has only happened twice (at least in Bailey's life time...short as it is) I was trapped under a pile of sleepy girls. This time the snot-nosed breathing was akin to sleeping in a pen full of congested bulldogs. I've never heard snorting like that in stereo. At least the laundry is done!

Drowning in Laundry

I love that our bed has more baby/big girl blankets on it than it does pillows...and that says something. It also says something that I only slept with one pillow last night because John hurt his back and needed the rest of the pillows to help support his back/knees. And it says EVEN more that I actually let him use all those pillows without putting up much of a fight.

It's been an eventful weekend. John's back was hurting from doing a bunch of yard work Friday afternoon. We're working on my experimental garden in the back 40 and right now that involves lots of raking. Unfortunately, we started thinking about this project a bit late in the year, so we're sticking to the bare essentials this season and hopefully will research enough by next year to have a sweet little plot of veggie-producing land. I've always loved the idea of gardening, but I'm just so ignorant on the topic that I've never done much about it. This may seem ironic to those of you who know my parents: the green thumb duo of gardener and florist. How did this not rub off on me through osmosis? My rudimentary knowledge pretty much consists of: seeds + water = delicious produce. We'll see.

So after doing some back-breaking work in the garden, John decided he should "work out" his back pain by climbing Badger Mountain...while carrying Audrey. No dice. When he got home, he could barely move and has been trying to remain as stationary as possible since. This is when it would be nice if someone in the family had decided to go into chiropractics. Seriously? Why did no one think of forcing one of the Schweighardt children/cousins to do this yet? I'll get on that, I suppose.

Anyway, I was glad that John took Audrey out to the mountain because it left me all alone in the house with only a sleeping Gunniwolf. I don't remember the last time I felt that at peace while taking a shower and getting ready for the day. It helped that I had eaten cinnamon rolls and sour cream pancakes for breakfast as well; a good start to any day in my book. I also got to do a lot of cooking in peace. And boy, oh boy, was I cooking yesterday. I made two meals and two desserts to take to a friend who just had a baby and I also made several meals to freeze for the month. I've always been skeptical of those seemingly Super moms who plan menus for the entire month, but a combination of factors has led me to the conclusion that it might be best idea for my sanity...and my husband's too.

Reason #1: The GINORMOUS MOUND of clean laundry on the love seat in the living room that I keep telling myself I don't have time to fold because I need to get dinner ready.

Reason #2: The GINORMOUS MOUND of dirty laundry taking over our closet. It's frightening! I wouldn't advise entering without a buddy.

Reason #3: The only reason my bathroom has been cleaned in the past month is because my Mother-In-Law did it out of the kindness of her heart (And God bless her!)

Reason #4: Have you heard about the laundry??

It's a problem. And living in a chaotic world where mounds of clothes simply exist tends to drive my husband batty (as it would any normal human being) My solution was to eliminate the only obstacle I really could: cooking dinner every night while people are around who can hold my baby for me. Hopefully this means I will take advantage of both having meals frozen that I can pop in the oven and having people in the house who can hold that sweet little angel baby of mine so I can fold the dang laundry!

Speaking of angel babies, Bailey is doing fantastic. She is fitting in so well to our routine and hardly ever gives me any trouble. She rolled over for the first time the other day and is really starting to dig hanging out in her jumper. Audrey continues to be an amazing big sister; she's really starting to embrace the transition to being a big girl. She's stoked about being potty trained and continues to be more comfortable around other kids. Even though she still has breakdowns here and there, she is handling all these changes really well for a structure-oriented 'spirited' child. I couldn't be more proud.

Don't forget to check out our updated pictures on Picasa!

My People

I have a bone to pick. And the curious thing is that it's with a group I would consider 'My People': the crunchy, granola-eating, baby-wearing, co-sleeping Mamas. The problem is, these are also breastfeeding Mamas. And recently, I've been going through a love-hate conundrum with breastfeeding...ok, scratch that. This just in: I Don't Like Breastfeeding. At the moment, I actually hate it. But really, I just personally don't like it.

*pause for shocked gasps*

'My people' are now running for the hills. I hope they took some granola with them so they don't starve to death.

Now, let me start by saying I have nothing against anyone else breastfeeding. On the contrary, I think everyone should breastfeed...even the ones who hate it. Which is probably another factor that is making me hate the effort I have to put into it even more. Is this making any sense? Didn't think so.

Moving on!

I know it's most likely because I'm dealing with supply issues again and supplementing with formula, but I keep noticing articles and studies on breastfeeding that go something along these lines: If you don't breastfeed your baby, you are a bad mother and your child will most likely die a horrible, horrible death. By the way, you're to blame.

Maybe I'm projecting a bit.

I'm not going to argue that there's a better option than breastfeeding, just that it might not be feasible for some women to breastfeed and function in modern society at the same time. If it were several thousand years ago and I had the same issues with breastfeeding, I would have no problem living with my little village of neanderthal peeps, spending the day doing nothing but nursing my baby. Actually, if I could get away with it now, I would have no qualms playing that card either:

• "Hey, babe. Sorry I didn't have time to shower, brush my teeth, shop for groceries or make dinner because I had a baby attached to my chest all day. How was your day banging rocks together? Should we ask Thor next door if we can have some of his baked lizard for dinner?"

Not gonna fly.

Unnecessary, self-inflicted guilt aside, I realize that most people who are trying to educate the masses on this topic likely have impoverished, uneducated people in mind. But it is really humiliating to be a crunchy mom lumped in with the 'poor, stupid crowd' because I use formula.

Being a mom is hard work and sometimes you have to weigh your options (and then weigh them again...and again...and again) before coming up with a solution that is best for you and your kids. And then try really really hard not to let anyone else make you believe you're wrong.

On that note, anyone have a spare set of unused, lactating breasts laying around that I could borrow?

Thanks!

What's Buried In Your Back Yard?

We spent the morning today rototilling the crud out of the Back Forty and found an old blue tarp, lots of scrap wood, and two large metal poles buried in the yard.

As far as what's buried in our next door neighbor's yard? I'm betting there's at least one dead husband...but we don't have any proof of that.

A New Age in Parenting

It's difficult to explain, but this week really seems like it has become a turning point in Audrey's development. Even though we are working on potty training, the change I feel is not something concrete I can pin point and record in my blog like first teeth or learning to crawl. This time, it's more a sense of my big girl actually growing up.

It all started this monday with a playdate; my friend Shauna brought over her little girl, Alivia, who is four months older than Audrey. These two haven't gotten to play one-on-one in a long time and this week they actually got to communicate with each other and work on things like sharing or follow the leader. (Have I mentioned Audrey can be a bossy bit of goods?) Audrey and Alivia were so sweet, holding hands, walking with their arms around each other, giving hugs and reading together. Now, to anyone else with a 2o month old, this may not seem Earth-shattering, but Audrey is more or less a stay-at-home kind of gal. She's not accustomed to playing with other kids and when she does, she's usually more of a wall flower; she likes to stay on the sidelines and check things out. I guess this is what seems to be changing; she's starting to become 'one of the kids' and it makes me proud to see her growing.

In direct contrast to our chill playdate that morning, the Moore kids came to town the same day to stay with us for spring break. Unlike every other time they've come to town, Audrey was immediately swept away with enthusiasm for the kids. Almost as soon as they got to the house, John and I took the crew out to Hubby's Pizza to burn off some energy from being cooped up in the car all day. When we got there, Audrey was shepherded out to the playground with everyone else; I don't think I've ever seen her as happy as she was playing on the carousel with the rest of the kids. I was sitting inside at our table with the Gunniwolf asleep on my chest watching someone else's children love on mine and I almost started crying. It was a beautiful thing.

Speaking of beautiful things, Duck loves babies...to the point of holding mine almost all day so I can get things done around the house. I recall having once criticized someone for hiring a mother's helper. I take it back.

Oh, and remember how I said we were at a standstill in potty training? It was all because I'm a big wuss and don't feel like cleaning pee-soaked car seats. Well, I decided to stop being a wuss and take advantage of having a mother's helper. I've actually been keeping Audrey in big girl undies all day. (except naps--I just can't bring myself to the commitment of picking up a grumpy, pee-soaked dragon who won't let me change her because it normally takes her at least half an hour to wake up enough to detach herself from my body as is.) Aside from napping, things on the potty front are going really well; she's getting quick at letting us know when she needs to go. And it's not just Audrey who's been thrown into a whole new world of awareness; I've been thrown into the world of 'where is the closest bathroom?'. And as most mothers know, kids don't care whether you're at the mall or in the car; you could be traveling to Mars for all they care: you better be paying attention to where the nearest potty is. I'm working on getting better at it, but there should seriously be an app for that.