Welcome to the Breakfast Table...Again.

I talk all the time about how crazy it is living in the Schweighardt house, but really, there's no way to describe it. I know a lot of you probably think you've got a good idea of the particular brand of crazy we subscribe to around here, but you've got to live it to know what it's like. On that note, I'd like to invite you to our breakfast table on Sunday morning.

First, I'll set the scene:
Audrey, Mom S. and I have all already been up for several hours. John has made it out of bed and graciously offered to make Huevos Rancheros for breakfast. Dad S. shuffles out to the table in his ever-present addidas sandals and after berating his wife for not bringing him coffee in bed, (which she never does) has obtained said coffee and is settling in for breakfast. Elizabeth (or Boo) has even been lured upstairs before the ungodly hour of noon to partake in the festivities. Even Great Grandma comes in to join the fun. Meanwhile, Mom S. chooses to sit on the couch reading the paper instead of being subjected to yet another Schweighardt Family Breakfast.

None of us can remember where the conversation started, so you're being tossed right in the middle--trust me, it's better this way.

Gillian: (Quote from the movie Big Lebowski) Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, dude, but at least it's an ethos.
John: Dad, pop quiz: Where was National Socialism most prevalent in the twentieth century?
Dad S: Is this a real question or are we joking?
Gillian: *bangs fist on table* Die Nationale Sozialisten waren Nazis!!! *salutes* Zeich Heil!
(I can do this because I spent plenty of money obtaining a German Minor in college that I will never use)
John: National socialism was different from international socialism in that...
*Dad bangs head on plate and continues to look for leftover bits of food on it as John keeps talking*
(Because the conversation is quickly deteriorating, as usual, Gillian throws out a quote from While You Were Sleeping)
Gillian: All the great ones were tall!
Dad S: (happy for any change of topic and an excuse to bring up his hero) John Wayne was six foot four and a half!
Gillian: Dustin Hoffman wasn't tall.
John: Would you want to see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?
Great Grandma: They didn't save the Alamo!
Dad S: No one has been able to make a good movie about the Alamo
John: Because the last one had Billy Bob Thornton in it
Dad S: John Wayne lost his shirt making The Alamo
John: I'm sure he had more than one shirt
Dad S: Yeah, but what if it was his favorite?
Boo: (with a mouth full of huevos) I took a quiz to see what my real name should be and it said: "Abraham"
*crickets*
Gillian: What kind of quiz was this?
Boo: You enter information about your personality and it tells you what your real name should be--like me: Abraham for Abraham Lincoln.
John: He was our best president, but I'd like to think that under the proper circumstances, Abraham Lincoln wouldn't stab someone with a dagger out of spite.
Boo: I wouldn't either!
John: So, if you were to try to kill me, how would you do it?
Boo: If I were trying to kill you, I would do it with kindness.
John: If I came at you with a knife and stabbed you, how would you defend yourself?
Boo: Easy, I'd Kung Fu chop you.
John: That's not killing me with kindness, that's killing me with karate

Interspersed in all this are numerous Dragon squawks (see the previous post), lip buzzing, tambourine playing, the clank of wooden blocks on her high chair and lots of fake coughing.

Well, that's all Folks. Thanks for joining us for breakfast! I hope you won't think twice now before coming to visit; we may be crazy, but we're a lot of fun!

Welcome to the Breakfast Table

This is why we call her The Dragon

Lucky Number Seven

The Dragon is seven months old today!
And yes, we're still celebrating month-birthdays. If you're disbelieving, you clearly don't understand the lengths I'll go to to justify eating baked goods.

Audrey had a doctor's appointment yesterday and weighed in at 19.8 lbs. Gads! Almost twenty pounds! She's also an inch taller than her last appointment (28 in.) and is still in the 90th & 95th percentiles for weight and height.

Lil A's personality is really coming out more and more. She's very vocal; she can now say Mama, Dada, Caba and a Dragon version of Grandma. She even yelled at me for the first time the other day; Grandma S. was feeding her and I got up to leave the room. Audrey saw me walking away and angrily screamed "MAMA!!!" at the top of her lungs. I had to do a double-take to make sure she hadn't suddenly morphed into a two year old. And as far as the future terrible two's go, the Dragon has already started letting us know when she feels like she's slipping from the center of attention with fake coughs, babbling, squawking, and now, yelling (joy!).

As for development, it seems Audrey is much more cerebral than anything else. She is always...ALWAYS thinking. There are a lot of furrowed brows coming from her end. It's cool, though, to see her sitting and figuring things out; she'll inspect her toys from all angles, taste them and then finally see what noise they make when you bang them on the floor or against each other.

Because The Dragon is so busy trying to figure things out, she seems to be lacking a whole lot of interest in getting moving. She knows how to do things like roll over and push up onto all fours, but she generally chooses not to unless it strikes her fancy...and even then she's usually naked on her changing table, laughing as she tries to roll away. Did I mention that this kid is smart?

Aside from the occasional crawling training session, we're trying to let Audrey figure out things by herself and not push her as far as development goes. I should just be thanking my lucky stars she's content to sit and check things out without trying to get into the knife drawer or pull the drapes down...yet!

Peanuts and Cracker Jacks

First, for the addicts: I have uploaded pictures to a new Picasa album
I hope you enjoy them and I apologize if you experienced any symptoms of withdrawal from lack of new Audrey pictures.

Things around the Schweighardt house have been relatively uneventful lately...meaning no one has fallen from a ladder or accidentally shot themselves with the nail gun for at least a few weeks. That doesn't mean it's been boring though!

The past two days have been filled with the animated buzz of hope, excitement and disbelief: the prodigal son is officially returning to the Mariners! That's right, Ken Griffey Jr. will be coming home next season and the Schweighardts (the rest of Washington State too, for that matter) are in seventh heaven. Interloper that I am, I still can't help but be caught up in the Griffey-mania that is sweeping the state. I've heard more than my fair share of stories from John and witnessed the emotion bordering on euphoric tears that was the Mariners' 1995 season. Washington sports have honestly been in the pot this past year and I think, more than anything, sports fans need a cause to rally around. Enter: Griffey.

So, now the entire clan is planning a trip to Seattle to see the Mariners on opening day. I can't imagine a better introduction to baseball for Audrey and I know I'll have to bring a hefty supply of tissues for John. I was never really a sports fan before we met, but I have my husband to thank for my love of baseball and I can't describe how excited I am to pass that along to our children. Now all we need is some warm weather, hot dogs and beer!

buzz, buzz, buzz!

The dragon has been razzing for several months now, but she's recently discovered how much fun it is while eating. Here's a video we took yesterday of John being a bad influence. Sorry it's shaky, I was laughing uncontrollably. enjoy!




p.s. I've also just downloaded a ton o' photos on our Picasa site

Check 'em out!

I am Mother, hear me roar

The Dragon had a stomach bug this weekend that decided to rear it's ugly head around bedtime Saturday night. Let me tell you, I've never been subjected to that much sleep deprivation and vomit in one night. Audrey and I both went through about 10 changes of clothing each, not to mention every crib sheet and blanket in the house. Overall, the night was a glorious moment in parenting.

Being the amateur, first-time parents that we are, we had no idea what to do with a vomiting baby. Our first course of action was to march into John's parents' room and ask for advice. The second, of course, was to research baby vomit online until we were convinced that she had at least one of countless life-threatening diseases. John was sitting with me in the nursery on the laptop whispering questions that started out normal and got progressively weirder:

"Does she have a fever?" No. "Are her eyes dark and puffy?" I can't tell. "Is her soft spot sunken in?" What? "Has she been exposed recently to rabid monkeys?" Are you kidding me?

Turns out it was nothing a little pedialyte and mommy lovin' couldn't fix. John, being the avid researcher that he is, even found an article from a medical journal with suggestions that actually helped quite a bit.

Sunday was a long day since neither of us got more than two hours of sleep the night before. We camped out on the couches in the living room and everyone in the house took shifts amusing Audrey and giving her small amounts of fluids every five minutes. I might sound like a broken record, but I have no idea how two parents can do it alone. We are so lucky to have John's parents here to help us.

Well, I'm off to go vegitate for the next five or ten minutes until Lil A wakes up. Just wanted to update everyone and let you know Audrey is back to her usual kicking, squawking self.

Yo Ho! Yo Ho!

A Dragon's life for me!

Things around the Schweighardt house have been crazy. Actually, crazy seems to be the standard atmosphere for the house, so let's just say things have been normal. Crazy normal.

We just celebrated Aunt Liz's 28th birthday. Audrey stayed up long enough to partake in the festivities too, but she didn't get any cake. Better luck next time. Liz just got back from a trip to Disney World last week and brought back tons of stuff for Audrey, including her very own personalized mouse ears! If anyone is interested in trying to one-up this Aunt, the competition is on! (Get out your knitting needles, Auntie Em!) Maybe we should hold Auntie-Olympics this year at Audrey's birthday party to determine the winner. I'm envisioning something akin to Festivus involving feats of strength. More on this stellar idea to come! (p.s. my money is on Emily. She fights dirty.)

As far as things with the dragon go, I can't complain. She's been sleeping much better and I actually took a two hour nap while she was sleeping today. There are no words for how good that felt.

Audrey is getting so close to crawling, it's scary. We've been working especially hard with her the past few days in an effort to wear her out more before naps and it seems like every day she masters something new. She's now getting up on all fours, then shifting back and forth a few times before launching herself forward. I'm guessing it'll take a while for the coordination of hands and feet to get worked out, but she's almost there. This means we have to get on top of the baby proofing project...seriously. This weekend. Or the weekend after that. ...What?

Audrey officially said her first word a few days ago. John and I were witnesses and we both called it. He was holding her, I came around the corner, she started kicking her legs and holding out her hands and said "MAMA!". I have to admit to gloating...just a little bit. Since then, Audrey has started identifying Caba (or Baba) and Dada. And yes, she said the dog's name before she said Dada; a fact that I love to note and John gives me stink eye for it.

Overall, things in the Great Northwest are going well. John has been crazy busy at work. He just got a company-issued Blackberry phone and is suddenly too important to answer phone calls. I know this because he tells me every time he answers.

Audrey and I will be flying out to the Midwest in March. Hopefully there will be more traveling in our future as the winter dulldrums start to dissipate too. January and February are the longest, foggiest, coldest months in the Tri-Cities. Time for a trip to Hawaii!