What We've Been Waiting For

Well over a year ago, John brought up the subject of a JPO (junior professional officer) job opening with the IAEA in Vienna, Austria. Having a naturally wandering spirit and a naive afterthought something along the lines of: 'Like that'd ever really happen', of course, I answered in the affirmative when John asked if he should really apply for the position. 

A friend of John's from work in a similar situation to ours (with two little girls near the same ages as Audrey and Bailey) headed out to fill a position at the IAEA a month later, giving us the unique situation of having guinea pigs going in our stead.  And, although their experience traveling and settling in was not exactly our ideal, it led us to a more serious evaluation of the possibility of at least applying for the position and seeing what God had in store for us.  

Fortunately, John and I had the opportunity to take a weekend away for our anniversary that spring, during which, our main topic of conversation was whether to apply for the JPO position, what role we felt God was playing in our decision and what every conceivable pro and con to the situation could be.  Understandably, these are topics that could not have been thoroughly canvased, had our two lovely and very rambunctious children been present for that weekend.  And looking back, it's quite apparent that God had his hands in that anniversary weekend in every way.  Our ride back home was spent in anticipation of seeing the girls and in absolute resounding faith that the path we had chosen was the right one.  

When we returned, John started the process of actually applying for the position and while waiting for some very useful advice from a colleague already ensconced in the IAEA, he learned that he had missed the deadline by hours.  We thought that we had just been given a big fat resounding 'NO' in answer to whether we should go or not. But, as fate would have it, John made a few inquiries and his application ended up getting pushed through anyway. 

Phew.  Take a breath. Step one, down!  Of many, many steps to come.  

A month or so later, John was contacted for an interview and was told he would be contacted either way to be informed of his status in the selections.  So, we waited.  And we waited.  And we found out through incredible happenstance that there were originally twenty-something applicants and that four had been selected for interviews.  So that was good news, but still not really that reassuring.

Then one day, the girls and I met John for lunch at our usual Mongolian BBQ place and as we were settling in to eat, he showed me an email from yet another previous coworker now working in Vienna; Zoe was about to vacate the exact position that John was applying for and had spoken to her manager, who had told her John was the official selection for her position.   

My jaw almost hit the floor. And I think it's very important to remember how difficult it is to surprise me.  I was ecstatic and freaked out and hyperventilating maybe just a little bit...In a good way.  But, this was totally unofficial, word of mouth news.  We didn't think it was time to start pouring the bubbly yet, so we kept it on the down-low.  There were still many hoops to jump through and many, many questions. 

God always has a way of bringing me back to reality--of reminding me who's in charge and who I need to be thanking.  At the end of our meal, we opened our fortune cookies, which read:

"It's time to break out of your routine and try something new."
 and
"An enjoyable vacation is awaiting you near the mountains." 

Ok, God.  I heard you.  This is Your plan.  You orchestrated this.  Everything is going to work out just how You want it.  I could stop hyperventilating and give it up to God. 

And really, I could.  Because, since the topic of Vienna first came up, I felt in my bones that we were going.  Again, not a feeling I credit to myself, but instead, something the Lord knew I needed to prod me into consistent productivity for months.  Since that first casual conversation John and I had last year about the open position, I've been steadily making mental and written lists, stocking up, purging, organizing, making appointments...preparing in any way possible.  And all that has led to a feeling of God-centered calm.  He's with me.  He's leading us.  He's the one who will be seeing us through this adventure. 

It's a good thing too, because this process has involved a lot of waiting.  Since John turned in his application last June, we have been on a roller coaster of emotion, hearing nothing for months, followed by uplifting, albeit, 'unofficial' news and subsequent rumors of bureaucratic procedures that could derail the entire process.  Basically, since November, we've been alert to the possibility that we might have weeks or months to move to another country.  And I haven't been able to do anything but hint at it on the blog because of the million and one aforementioned caveats. 

So, now I feel at liberty to announce that John has received and accepted the job offer and his manager is very eager to have him on board.  He sent an email that went something along the lines of: We've had this approved for months and HR has been sitting on it.  How soon can you start?  Well, there are still plenty of hoops to jump through; medical exams, travel plans, packing and repacking and organizing moving companies, but we are going!  Thank you, God!  We are going. 

I have no words for the ways God has been shaping and testing and remolding us this past year and I am humbled and overwhelmed to think of the work he will be doing in our lives while we are in Vienna.  I look forward to being able to dissect and document our travels and experiences so the girls will have a way to remember what it was like and so you all can share in the experience with us as well.  I know it will take time to form a new sense of community and I'm ok with that--I am a woman of solitude, but there is nothing like the silent support of those who love you.  And I thank you for reading and bearing with me through the good times and the bad. 

Lifting the State of Limbo

If this were my last day on earth, I'd die a happy woman.  God has placed us in a really interesting little state of limbo for the last six months or so.  And with every passing day, the limbo-intensity has increased.  We have a general idea of what's coming, but no idea when it will happen.  We're ready.  We're waiting.  All of our loose ends are tied. We're trying not to commit to anything more than two weeks in advance.  This is a strange place to be.  And, of course, God is using it to shape and remold us.

Lately, I've felt He's been giving me some pretty creative lessons in humility.  I've been having to eat my words or apologize for mistakes I never dreamed I'd make.  I've been beaten to the ground and gotten to the point where I realized my cup was empty--I called out to the Lord: "Coach...I've got nothin' left.  This is it.  I'm done." And after He let me wallow in my own self pity for an hour or two, He called me to commune with Him, He picked me up and told me that I've lived my entire life with nothing.  This has never changed.  Yet I have everything...in Him.  He is the one who has seen me through this crazy path and He's the one who will lead me through the rest until, eventually, He calls me home.  That's the good news, folks.  If we move to Vienna in two weeks or six months (I have the urge to bang my head on the desk, just writing that) He is the one who will take us there. 

So, this day? Is no longer a day in limbo.  It is His day.  This weekend is His weekend.  Not time wasted, waiting for the next step.

Today was an ordinary day.  We ran errands while God's sweet sunshine fell on our heads and warmed our hearts. At every stop we made, we were either greeted by someone who knew us by name--who knew our story--or met a new friend and learned a part of theirs.  We may be leaving this community, but I won't stop enfolding myself in it until the moment I am gone--in this city and the next and into the beyond.   

The Art of Storytelling

For the most part our little Audrey girl keeps to herself.  Don't get me wrong--she's entirely capable of stepping into cruise director mode and, let me tell you, she revels in it.  But, honestly, the majority of my little Dragon's days are spent playing make believe with her dolls, figurines--and when she doesn't have any of those--her eating utensils or hands.  She's very creative and obviously spends a lot of time running rampant in her own little imagination.  Lately, however, she has started doing a bit of story telling.  These are the scenarios I imagine are going down in her mind all day without any notice from us silly adults. And having the privilege of hearing these amazing tales first hand is probably one of the most amazing things (outside of pony riding) I've witnessed from this kid since becoming a mama.  I just can't make this stuff up.  Regardless, I doubt anyone would believe me if I typed one of her stories out on the blog, so here for your viewing pleasure are two videos of one total story that Audrey relayed at lunch today.